I have officially crossed the line from cat 'enthusiast' to bat shit crazy cat lady. Does it make it better that I am aware of it? Probably not.
Growing up I was never an animal lover. In fact, the thought of puppies and kittens did absolutely nothing for me. Seriously. To the point where I thought there was something actually wrong with me. But I as I got older, those little fluffy buggers pawed their way into my heart. And since we moved to the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cattle pastures and where the majority of traffic on my road is horse and buggy (no I am not shitting you), my love for animals has only grown.
Cows are my favourite.... especially the brown ones. I got lost on my way home from work one day and ended up on a back road that looked more like a forest trail than anything else. Panicked, I called my mother to help me figure out how to get home and she was not very helpful at all.... Apparently telling her that I saw trees and a cloud that looked like Snoopy didn't give her any indication of where I was or how to get me back to civilization. So I kept aimlessly driving until I came across a farm with the most beautiful cows I had ever seen. The way they slowly moved around and lounged in the sun was so....Soothing. Therapeutic even. And now I make a point of driving past there whenever I can to get a glimpse of them. I have thought about stopping by with a batch of cookies and asking the farmer if I could PLEASE go and pet a couple of them. But Scott won't allow it. Apparently a wild eyed girl coming to the house in the middle of pandemic, with a batch of burnt cookies, asking to pet their cows would be a red flag and they'd be well within their rights to call the poe-poe. And this girl doesn't need any more hassles with the fuzz.
Also.... did you know that horses play? Like actually run around and play with each other on crisp, cool mornings? MIND BLOWN the first time I witnessed it. Scott just shakes his head at me.... supposedly it's common knowledge that horses play. I call BS on that.
Wait.... is that why it is called 'horse play'? Interesting.
Anyways, when we moved out here Scott noticed that mice had made a nest in his ATV over the winter.... and of course we couldn't have this. So we pilfered three kittens from our friend's barn to have outside for pest control. Two immediately took off, but one stayed. I affectionately named her Squirt.... because she was such a little squirt when we got her. Now that she is grown it is just an absolutely ridiculous name, but it is what it is! And eventually Squirt multiplied and then her kittens multiplied and things have gotten a wee bit out of hand. We have given a few batches of kittens away to wonderful people who spoil them rotten.... but now we are running out of goodwill and friends to pawn them off on.
Squirt and her daughter, Tippy (named for the white tip on the end of her tail), have the same sugar daddy.... Chester. He was one of the two that initially took off. But I guess sugar daddy is not entirely accurate. Chester would be Squirt's brother-baby daddy and Tippy's.... I guess uncle-daddy-baby daddy? Ya, I know it's gross....but you can't argue with the results. The kittens are gorgeous!
Anyways.... Chester shows periodically and although Scott and the pup chase him away, we inevitably end up with kittens a few months later. It is also quite the sight when Chester shows up, and if you are in the area I highly recommend popping by for a showing. If Scott spots him, it doesn't matter what he is wearing or what time of day it is, he is out the door with the dog, chasing Chester off the property and down the road. Just imagine, a big, burly, bearded, red head with his pup at his side, chasing a cat down the street in nothing but rubber boots and boxer briefs. Oh ya.... it's hot.
But getting back to my point. I think I am definitely now a crazy cat lady and border lining on a problem. If I'm not careful, TLC might show up to film a docu-series about it. At the moment we have Squirt and her new litter of 6 kittens. And of course Tippy and her new litter of 4 kittens. So that is 12.... yep 12. No wait! Let's not forget our two inside cats, Elli and Dotty.... so that would make.... 12+2 is.... Oh so 14. Yes I have 14 cats right now.
So I guess my 10th grade history teacher was right when he told me that I would end up a Crazy Cat Lady one day.
Well that's The Crazy Cat Lady to you, Cameron.
But seriously.... Send help! Or at least donations of kibble.
-Kay
