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An Absolute Nightmare

I think I have mentioned before that Indi and I didn't get off to the smoothest start when she came to live with us three years ago. I had never had a dog before, and neither of us had any idea what to do with each other. The only thing we had in common was we were vying for the attention of the same man- Scott. And it got a little high school in the process of staking our claims.

I remember the moment that Indi fell head over paws in love with Scott. Boxing Day 2012. We piled in my father-in-law's pick up and went to collect the newest member of the family in a Tim Horton's parking lot. A little ball of floof and sass and puppy teeth. She curled up into Scott's lap in the back seat and we drove to the local Walmart where Scott's sisters were working at the time to show her off and buy some much needed supplies- treats. As we approached the entrance we realized that the 80 year old greeter guarding the doorway would likely not let us bring Indi into the store. And although we were fairly confident that we could take him in a fight, Scott decided he might not want that on his conscious. He unzipped his coat just enough to tuck Indi inside, her head nuzzled against his neck. She was still for a moment and then pulled back ever so slightly to look at Scott's face. And that was that. You could see the switch flip. This was her human. She was in love. Her one and only Scott.

And so began our thinly veiled competition for the number one spot in Scott's heart. Now, I know what you're thinking. Really, Kay? You are so petty and insecure that you feel threatened by a dog? Really?

First of all- Indi is more than a dog. She is a person in a four legged body. She's a lady. Classy. Elegant. Timeless. And takes absolutely no time getting ready in the morning, requires little to no beauty sleep, and is fine with peeing on the side of the road during long road trips. Which means Scott doesn't have to stop at a Tim Horton's every hour to empty her pea size bladder. How do I compete with that?

And second, she STARTED it. There is only so many times my pillow can be peed on without me taking it personally.

Four. The number is four.

But since she came to live with us - after shaking one too many of the neighbour's chickens and needing to disappear from Scott's parent's place pronto - Indi and I have really turned a corner. And it turns out we have way more in common than we initially thought.

  1. We both have a tremendous amount of anxiety. She is paralyzed by fear during thunderstorms. Reducing her to a shaking and peeing mess whenever one rolls through. I have a panick attack every time the little man in my head gets overwhelmed and throws his clipboard in the air, storming out and sending papers flying in every direction. Reducing me to a blubbering mess.

  2. We love treats. Me of the chocolate variety, and her the beef liver kind.

  3. We both require frequent walks. Her, so that she doesn't pee and poop in my house unless she is trying to make a point. And me, for my stupid mental health.

And finally....

4. We can both hold a grudge like no one's business and we are not above plotting sweet revenge.

Now that we have found that common ground, Indi and I have become the best of friends. Which is why when she came to me for the third time in twenty minutes to go outside for a pee on Monday night, I got a little worried. And also why on Tuesday morning I nearly had a coronary when I came into the kitchen to find a puddle of pee, full of blood, on the floor.

Indi has had bladder infections before (something else we have in common), and I was fairly confident that some antibiotics from the vet would fix her right up. So when Scott asked if I would be okay taking Indi to the vet alone while he was at work, I said yes. How bad could it be?

I called the office and they told me to bring her in around 2pm for a check up and treatment. They then quickly followed this up with the request I not let her pee after 11am, to ensure she had enough urine in her bladder to get a sample. Now I don't know about you, but I have had bladder infections before. I worked the ER and saw countless kids with bladder infections as well. Getting a human to hold their pee for three hours with a bladder infection is nearly impossible. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to get across to Indi that she needed to hold her pee, regardless of how uncomfortable she was.

I got down eye level with her and gave her the best pep talk I could muster. I laid out the rules, explained if she followed the rules we could get her medicine and she'd be feeling better in no time. I promised treats and uninterrupted snuggle time with Scott if she could do this for me. Then we shook on it.

To my complete and utter shock, she did it! Indi was a complete champ and held her pee all the way until we arrived at the vet's office. But that is where our luck and patience ran out.

I opened door to the back seat and Indi came barreling out, without waiting to get her leash attached, and beelined it for the nearest spot of grass. I turned and ran to follow her, desperate to stop her from peeing. I tripped over my own feet, sending me spread eagle across the gravel parking lot. The thud was loud enough to distract Indi from peeing and she came over to give me an obligatory "You good?" sniff, and I was able to hook her leash onto her collar before she took off.

I scrambled to my feet and we raced inside where we were promptly told she needed to be weighed. I guided Indi over to the scale, which she sniffed and immediately decided that she would not be standing on that. The free floating platform swayed under the paw she tentatively perched on it and she looked up at me with an ABSOLULTELY NOT eyebrow raise. I tried reasoning with her, and the vet techs eventually tried to lure her up with treats to no avail. When I attempted to pick Indi up, whispering in her ear to please not make me look like a terrible dog owner, she doubled down and laid down, flexing her paws and digging her nails into the carpet so I couldn't budge her.

In the end it took three vet techs and I to lift her onto the scale, all the while Indi glared at me with betrayal in her eyes.

We were then whisked back to an exam room. When the vet arrived she explained that they were going to take Indi back to a procedure room to have a cystoscopy, snaking a camera/catheter up her urethra to get a good visualization of her bladder and to get a urine sample. It was in that moment that I realized Indi can speak English.... because as I handed over her leash and gave her a kiss on the forehead, her face said it all. *You wanna put what? WHERE!?*

 Huskies are a very vocal and unique breed of dog. They are not afraid to express their emotions, and can be drama queens. Indi is no exception. The moment they left the room and began leading her down the hall, Indi screamed like a banshee and flailed against the leash. Throwing herself on the ground for dramatic effect. I offered to help, and not surprisingly was told to stay where I was and they would only be ten minutes.

However, for the next fifteen minutes Indi sang the entire clinic the song of her people. A battle cry that sounds like a mix of fire truck sirens and nails on chalk board. It echoed through the building scarring us all for life, and letting me know that I was going to go to hell for bringing her here, until finally she fell silent.

After another fifteen minutes, there was a tentative knock on the door, and Indi came rushing in, looking like she just came back from the trenches. Her rear end was soaked, her collar was on upside down and her tongue was hanging to the floor as she panted.

And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the vet and two techs folllowed behind her.

Their previously sleek hair, pulled back into buns and ponytails, were in disarray. Sweat beaded on their noses and foreheads. Their scrubs were dishevelled and they each had a wet line across their kneecaps. Like they had been sprayed with a super soaker.

I looked at the four them for a few seconds, taking them all in before asking my inevitable question.

Me: What happened? Are you guys okay?

Vet: Oh yes, we are fine. Indi is- um. Well she is very....

Tech 1: Strong. Indi is very strong.

Tech 2: Are you sure she's 12? I have never seen a dog do that ever... It was wild.

Me: Why are all of you wet?

I pointed at Indi's hind end and then gestured towards their wet scrub pants.

Vet: Well. It was... Indi was not happy when we got into the procedure room. She ran around the room and somehow bested the four girls in there with me. She ended up getting her leash wrapped around their ankles and then backed up out of her collar.

Tech 1: It was wild.

Tech 2: I've never seen anything like it. And she was singing the whole time.

Tech 1: She's really fast. And we couldn't grab her.

Tech 2: But when we finally got her cornered, she was so excited and stressed that she took a last stand.

Tech 1: Oh did she ever.

Vet: What we are trying to ask is, how does Indi normally pee?

Me: Um- oh. Well, she pees like a dog? She you know, kinda half squats/sits and then pees.

Vet: So you have never seen her fire hose her pee out backwards between her legs?

I sat there wide eyed for a moment processing what the vet had asked.

Me: No. No she has never done that.

Tech 1: Well when we were just about to get her collar back on she turned around, and spread her legs and --

Tech 2: She just shot pee out between legs and soaked all of us before we could figure out what was happening.

Vet: I really have never seen anything like it.

And they weren't exaggerating. After the UTI was confirmed and her exam was finished, Indi and I walked out to the lobby, passing two more techs with wet scrub pants, rifling through a cupboard to find pairs of dries ones.

Although she is feeling better the last twenty four hours, Indi has still not forgiven me for taking her to the vet.

She is currently sitting with her head in Scott's lap, glaring at me from across the room. Nothing a few more treats and dentastix shouldn't fix though.... hopefully. I'm going to store my pillow in the closet for a few days just in case.

Hope you are having a better week than Indi and the shit she's putting up with.




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