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It’s Coming From Inside The House

Helllloooo! How’s everyone doing? How’s it going?

It’s been a week (although I feel like that is becoming a pattern). But I have to tell ya, I am feeling good about some of my recent decisions. I am putting myself first. Which usually I don’t do or feel guilty about doing…. Which is probably hard for you to believe because for someone to have a blog and think that anyone would bother reading it, they would have to be self absorbed, right? Maybe. But regardless I am feeling good.

I have started a course on writing for children and teens (shocking I know…. because of my potty mouth and sarcasm. But I seem to get it all out here and then I’m g rated for a good portion of the day). Anyways, I am loving it. I feel like I am dusting the cobwebs out of a part of my brain I haven’t used in a very long time. Being creative. Its my happy place at the moment. And I am dreaming of all the places writing could take me. But, time will tell. I’m just going to enjoy the ride for now. Or at least until the Xanax wears off…. Kidding!

Or am I?

Speaking of rides, what a roller coaster of emotion I had earlier this week. It was intense. We had a break in and I witnessed a murder. Terrifying. And I think maybe my near death experience is why I have decided to put myself first.

Let me explain….

I lock all the doors and windows in our home, regardless of if I am alone or not. Scott thinks this is ridiculous, and annoying. For some reason he gets all pissed off when the door is locked when coming in from cutting the grass or taking the garbage out. But what he doesn’t understand is I am saving our lives. What if there is a burglar? What if they have a gun, or worse a knife? What if Scott decides to try and be a hero and gets stabbed? Reality is not like TV people. I’m a good nurse, but I can’t stop an arterial bleed with a freaking tea towel! It would be disastrous. So Scott would bleed out and die on the hard wood floor. Do you have any idea how hard that would be to clean up? And then I’d have to plan a funeral. And what would I do with four cats and a dog? I can’t take care of all of them without help. But no matter how many times I explain this to Scott, he does not respect my constant “door locked” rule. He just walks in and out all Willy Nilly like he owns the damn place or something. Jeeesh.

But when we got Indi, my fears did lessen a wee bit. She is like a living, breathing house alarm. No one gets near the house without her knowing and alerting me. Mail man drops a package on the porch? She barks and watches him from the kitchen window. Horses go by on the road? She froths at the mouth and growls through the window. Cats get into a play fight on the lawn? She tries to break down the door to get at em’. I sleep way better with her there. That’s for sure. Prior to getting Indi, I just assumed every unexpected creak of the house in the night was a psychopath coming to kill us and wear our skin as a dress. But I know now, that if Indi is relaxed, there is nothing to worry about. Cut to this week and Scott gets up to go to work. I was having a particularly good dream about refinishing our pantry (Scott with a tool belt) and decided not to get out of bed. After Scott did the morning chores of feeding the animals and getting ready for work, he brought me a cup of coffee in bed, gave me a kiss and headed out for the day. After lazing around for 20mins(ish… plus or minus an unspecified amount of time) or so, I decided that I should get up and make the most of the gorgeous morning (not something I usually do on a day off… I’m more a sleep until you a get headache kinda girl).

Anyways, I am half dressed when Indi starts going absolutely nuts down stairs in the kitchen. My heart drops into my stomach. Scott was the last one to leave. He never locks the door. Indi is viciously barking. The burglar must be in the house. She is trying to fend him off! What if the intruder hurts her?! My mind races, trying to figure out what to do. And I decide I am not going down without a fight.

So there I am in my long sleeve shirt and underwear, about to leave my bedroom to race down to the kitchen and face the burglar/rapist/murderer/psychopath, and for some reason I decided that I needed to put slippers on. Cause you don’t go looking for a fight without proper footwear. And I grab my wood bat from beside the bed (Don’t you dare judge me. Some girls have safety blankets. I have a wood baseball bat. His name is Bruce and he will fuck you up).

I sneak down stairs and around the corner, as Indi’s barking gets louder. I raise the bat above my head and rush into the kitchen ready to swing.

What I find is Indi barking at our porch door. And following her gaze, I see a little bluejay has somehow gotten stuck in our covered porch and is flying around in a panic.

THANK GOODNESS! Is all I can think. I can handle a bird. Phew. Almost lost my cool there 😎

After my heart attack stopped, I opened the porch door to go out and help the poor bluejay find his way out.

As I am approaching the bird, I see a flash of sleek black with a long tail jump from the sil of the porch across the deck. Startled, I fall backwards onto my ass. NO! Is all I could get out before half of the bluejay was in the cat’s mouth. Bright blue feathers flew everywhere. Chaos ensued. There was flapping wings, shrill high pitched sounds, Indi barking from inside and again, I can’t stress this enough, FEATHERS FLYING EVERYWHERE.

Our cat, named Tippy, made eye contact with me as she began chew, like she was staring into my soul, and as if she was saying, “Get your own breakfast”. The struggle soon stopped.

So completely bewildered, I went back inside, locked the FREAKING doors and headed back to bed for my much needed second sleep.

So ya…. Nothing like a mock burglary and a murder to start the day and get the blood pumping. Welcome to my world.


1 Comment

Diane R
Diane R
Oct 03, 2021

I love your photo of Indi! She's a good pup! Tippy... she's cute but, geez... leave the birds alone! Laughed out loud at this one. I could picture the whole thing. 🤣

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