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I'm Still Here.... And I Love Old People

Well I have been MIA for about ten days, my bad. That may happen from time to time. No cause for alarm. Sometimes I just need to put myself on auto-pilot and all the extras get to put to the side for a few days. Between work and life last week, I was drained by the end of the day and couldn't find time for anything.

And in the shuffle I may have gotten a bit lax on the essentials....This morning there might have only been a yogurt cup and expired milk in the fridge, I had to sniff my clothes to find clean *enough* ones to wear until I got the laundry done, and I may have missed my meds for few days. Which -although I used be able to get away with missing a day or two here or there- is evidently not a good idea for me at this point in time. My brain kinda feels like an ocean on a rough day when I lose track and miss a day of my 'crazy pills'. But not the pretty ocean from a painting.... I'm talking the plastic island ocean no one likes to talk about. You know, with those plastic can holders they use for six packs floating everywhere and you're just praying a baby seal doesn't get stuck in one. What a mess.

Anyways.... I had a memory pop into my head today that made me giggle, and I thought I'd share.

When I was in nursing school, I thought I new exactly where I was going. I wanted to be a NICU nurse. Looking after tiny and seriously unwell newborns and their families. I also knew I definitely did not want to work with the geriatric population. However, once I graduated and actually started working, I realized I didn't know myself as well as I thought I did. After seeing my first drug addicted newborn case, I realized there was no way I could work with sick babies and children on a regular basis. It takes very special people to be able to do that job, and I'm just not one of them. So I was at a loss. My ten year plan for my career was up in flames and I had no idea what to do. However, while working on medical floor, I found myself developing bonds with senior patients and they became the reason I looked forward to going to work.

There is absolutely nothing better than a senior that has absolutely no filter and does not give a fuck about consequences. They are THE BEST. Which brings me to Greta.

I met Greta on a night shift after she was brought in by police from her retirement home for aggressive behaviour. All of 90lbs soaking wet, I was a bit skeptical of how much damage she could have actually done to warrant calling the police. By the time she made it to us, she was in a great mood. Which I am guessing had something to do with the ruggedly gorgeous police officer that brought her in on his arm. "Now he is a tall drink of water, isn't he?!".

I was tasked with figuring out the events that led to her being brought in. So I made Greta a cup of tea and sat down with her. We chatted about her life and family, then transitioned to the behaviour in question. "So, can you tell me why you're here?"

"Honey, that bitch had it coming."

It took all I had in me not to burst out laughing. "I'm gonna need a little more detail".

"Peter's wife died six months ago. And men are hard to come by in the home. You gotta stake your claim when you can. I'm sure you know about that. Everyone knows that he's gonna be mine. But Sue moved in a few weeks ago and has been sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. She ruined the bath schedule, so now mine's at 2pm in the afternoon instead of in the morning. And she took my seat at Peter's table in the dining room. I tried asking nicely for her to mind her own business but it didn't work. So when she was walking past my table I stuck my cane in her walker spokes. Went down like a sack of potatoes! She's making it out to be way worse than it is. She's fine. But, then that cute police man showed up and I decided to go with it. You only live once sweetie. Now I'm talking to you. Hey, do you have any tea biscuits?"

90 year old Greta took down a lady for eyeing up her man and stealing her bath time, and still had an appetite. Complete bad-ass.... okay, she was also a complete nutter. But strangely inspirational at the same time. And here I am saying sorry to people when THEY bump into ME.

So this week, if you're feeling a bit down and out, take a page from Greta's book.... okay don't stick a cane in an old lady's walker spokes.... but stand up for yourself and what you need. You might even meet a cute guy!


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